Every person goes through there own trials. That’s just life.
Every person feels worthless. That’s just self-discrimination.
Every person fails. That’s just being human.
There are days when it feels like you are not worthy; not worthy to be wherever you are, to receive the second chance you’ve been given, to continue on in the work that is set before you. But eventually you suck it up and take that second chance, and continue on with your work, wherever you’re at.
But what about the days you can’t suck it up? The days you don’t feel able to continue smiling and say, “I’m doing good” to every, “How are you?”
Those days you wake up and you just know the kind of day it’s going to be. You get out your optimism to paint on your smile, hoping that it will be more than just paint on a seemingly lifeless canvas. If you can just make it through the day, you say to yourself, you know the paint will last if you can hold it together. But in the back of your mind, you know that as soon as you are alone the flood gates will open, washing away your masterpiece, but leaving the scarred canvas exactly as it was before.
Unfortunately, the best paint remover is Failure. Feeling as though you didn’t make it, you’re never good enough. There are just some days when no amount of encouraging words are gonna make you feel any better. Yet sometimes all it takes is someone to hold you while you cry, expelling the pain from your body in a violent torrent, for at least some of the pain to ease.
But vulnerability is one of the scariest things there is in this world. No haunted house can compare to the horror you feel when you open up, and then are mocked or even just misunderstood. You say that it’s fine, and even ok, but those moments are more hurtful that words can express, no matter what they say to make up for it, if they can even see your pain through your perfectly painted smile.
In the end, to grow is to feel pain, and growth is often gained through trials by fire. The fire is hot and the pain is real, both physically and emotionally, but it’s necessary. In order to make Gold (one of, if not THE most precious substances on Earth) pure, it must first be heated until it liquifies and the imperfections rise to the top. The dross is then scraped off the top, leaving the pure Gold below. Likewise, Diamonds start out as a lump of dirty coal, but through fire become the purest of stones.
Each and every person starts off as a Diamond in the Rough. Every person carries a pain that is unseen, because their fire is real. We each go through it at different times and in different way, but every single person does go through it, make no mistake. No person is spared from the refining fire that is Life, dealing with each part of our humanity, separating the good from the bad like dross from gold. Because we are flawed human beings, no piece of Gold is entirely pure, just like the largest Diamond isn’t without it’s faults. Yet still people pine after these things, despite their imperfections.
One thing I’ve learned is that just because someone’s your friend, it doesn’t necessarily make them worthy to hear your pain. There are different levels of friendship, and not everyone is on the same level, nor should they be. There are some people who you laugh with, some who you go on adventures with, some who you just hang out with, and some who never seem to remember you’re there outside of their needs; but there are a few who get to hear all your thoughts and see every side of you. Finding these people can be difficult, and often comes through a lot of trial, error, and often disgrace. Once you find these people, the ones who will cry with you while also sharing with you their own struggles, realize that you have found a precious treasure: a gold-embossed diamond given to you to guard with your heart and your mind. These treasures are not to be guarded lightly, and while the task may seem daunting, it can have the richest rewards.
Know that those who love you value you for who you are as a whole, faults and all. Know that those who love you desire to know all of you, not just the painted smile you want everyone to see. Know that those who love you cherish you for your friendship and care, even when it seems like you’re not worthy to give or receive it.
Every person is imperfect. That leaves room for growth.
Every person is cherished. That’s having family and true friends.
Every person is loved. That’s being human.
(Psalm 19:7-14)(1 Peter 1:3-9)